Why?
by Destiel101
Summary: One of the Avengers dies. Character death. Avengers as a family. Please give it a chance.
1. Why?

They were going to die. That was a given.

How and when are always the big questions, but for some reason they never bothered with the who.

It wasn't a topic any of them thought of often but it was always lingering. With their lifestyle how could it not? It was always on their minds, every mission, would one of them not make it back this time?

In all their time thinking about it, picturing it, wondering when or how, they never thought in million years who it would be, and certainly not Thor.

None of them could imagine life without the big guy. He always seemed to know just what to say or do. He was smarter and more observant than most gave him credit for. He always seemed to know exactly what to do to help. What to say - or not to say. He knew all their favourite foods and drinks, even their secret little guilty pleasures. He used that knowledge to help when they were upset or needed someone. Even if they didn't realize it themselves.

Just like all of them, Thor has his secrets. Things no one knew besides them. Despite his politeness and old way of talking, he could be sarcastic and sassy. He swore like a sailor and made inappropriate jokes. He wore a charm around his neck to hide all the scars, tattoos, and piercings he has. It made him look like the golden prince you heard about in the stories.

He was an amazing fighter, with any weapon you gave him. He was best at hand-to-hand combat and swordsmanship. It took them all by surprise when he managed to defeat both Natasha and Clint at the same time.

He was very open about himself, not afraid to talk about what happened and always more than happy to answer any questions about himself or his home world.

He had something special with each Avenger.

With Tony, they would banter a lot, but they taught each other things. Thor taught Tony all about Magic and Aesir physiology. In return, Tony taught Thor all about electronics and any science he thought the Thunder God would be interested in.

With Clint it was a love of archery. Thor was just a good a shot as Clint was and the was something Clint could respect. He was also delighted to learn that Thor knew sign language. It made talking to the guy a lot easier and more fun.

With Natasha it was fighting. They would spar often, never seeming to beat the other. Occasionally one of them would get lucky, but they were pretty evenly matched. They would spar, then go out for ice cream. A guilty pleasure they liked to share in.

With Bruce it was the way Thor treated him, without fear, like an equal. Though Tony did the same, Bruce was still worried he could hurt him. But he knew Thor could take on the Hulk in the need arose. It made him a little more relaxed. Thor also appreciated his piano playing. To the point where he started taking lessons from Bruce to learn himself.

With Steve it was the alienation from the world around them. Though they we're learning and adapting, they were still different. So they explored together, watched movies, and tried to figure out some piece of technology without Tony's help. He also understood the soldier part of Steve. The dreams, the visions, the guilt. They found solace in each other.

He was a part of the Avengers that they depended on. A piece they would be lost without. They made sure not to take anything in their lives for granted, knowing they could lose something at any moment.

But they never thought they'd lose Thor. It just wasn't something they deemed possible. He was a god after all. Wasn't he immortal or something?

None of them knew what to think, watching the doctors trying to save Thor's life on the other side of the glass. Any one of them could be in there, why - how - was it him?

The one they all secretly depended on. The one always with the bright smile, the laugh that made you feel better, and the hugs that made you feel safe. Feel whole. Always happy, despite all he has gone through, able to look past it and live on.

They had no doubt that, when alone in his room, Thor suffered like the rest of them. Suffered of a broken heart and a shattered family.

But that's what they all were right? A shattered family? Torn apart and thrown back together to make the family they are now?

But now they couldn't move, couldn't breathe as the doctors try to restart Thor's heart and fail. They try again and again, never succeeding. Finally they give in, and call out the time of death.

The shrill beep of the heart monitor blocking out everything else. They're all in shock.

Natasha and Bruce are crying. Clint falls to his knees. Tony's heads falls into his hands. Steves eyes are wide, not blinking. Just staring.

Even lifeless he's beautiful, golden hair and tanned skin, his electrifying blue eyes closed. His magic goes and his charm stops working. They see his scars and tattoos. Remembering the day he happily explained each and every one to them.

They don't move. They can't. How do they function without him? Not one of them had ever thought of it. Never daring to think of a life without the others. But for some reason this one seems so much worse.

He was the glue. The one to keep them all sane. They didn't know what would happened now. How they would cope. They couldn't get past the big question, burning in all their minds.

Why him?

They were all going to die. That was for sure. But why, oh why,

Did it have to be him?


	2. Tony

Tony was in his lab, working on something that only he understood, when Thor appeared.

Despite their sometimes clashing personalities, they got on relatively well; But it was still a surprise when Thor shows up at the door, walking in slowly, taking in the sights before sitting down across from him, leaning on the table between them.

Tony stares at him, waiting for the reason he's here. Wanting something from the billionaire. Wanting it bad enough that he sought him out instead of waiting until he finally appeared upstairs.

His request was different than Tony had been expecting.

"What are you working on?" The question was genuine, curious and Tony couldn't help but blink slowly in reply before gathering his words.

"You want to know what I'm working on?" Thor nods, "Yes, can you explain it to me? I'd like to know more about this kind of stuff."

Tony blinks again, "Okay, but you better pay attention Point Break."

And he does. Hanging onto every word. Understanding a lot better than Tony expected anyone could.

When he was done, Thor thanked him and left. Chalking it up to boredom, Tony kept working, not expecting Thor to come back the next day. Or the day after that. But this went on, day after day, for weeks.

Until one day, Tony was having one of his bad days. He didn't want anyone to see him like this, but JARVIS let Thor in anyway, claiming that the god threatened to break down the door if he didn't.

He was not in the mood for a lesson. He was sitting on the floor, leaning on a car, the lab and himself a mess. He expected a lecture, or for Thor to leave. He certainly didn't expected for coffee and a cheeseburger to be set down beside him. Thor then making his way to his other side and sitting on the floor next to him.

He internally cringed. More silence, that's always what happens when people try to comfort him. He hates it.

Waiting for the eternal silence he is once again surprised when Thor starts talking. Not about Tony or his current state, no he starts talking about Asgard and his people. Teaching Tony instead of the other way around.

He talks for hours, on a variety of things. Asgardian creatures, Aesir physiology, any magic he can remember. Tony doesn't even realize it when he starts eating and drinking the coffee Thor brought.

Soon he is starting to feel more himself, asking questions and really getting into what Thor was talking about.

But after about nine hours of talking, Tony starts yawning. He barely registers when Thor stands him up and takes him to his room, even taking the liberty of tucking him in.

He sleeps for twelve uninterrupted hours. The best sleep he's gotten in a long time. Feeling refreshed, he heads back down to his lab to clean up the mess he knows he made.

But when he walks in, the place is spotless, not a thing out of place. And sitting in his usual spot, is Thor, writing in a notebook.

He smiles when he sees Tony approaching, "Sleep well?" Tony nods slowly, "Great! I am writing down everything I told you last night, adding in anything I missed. Then I'll continue adding more."

Tony nods again, sliding into his chair, watching Thor's impossibly neat handwriting fill up the page. He smiles suddenly, realizing exactly what was happening.

He had a friend, a true friend. And it was amazing.


	3. Natasha

Natasha hated emotions.

All they did was compromise your mission, they were no good, just a distraction.

At least that's what she was raised to believe.

That all changed when she joined SHIELD.

She didn't care about them, just Barton. Only Barton. And she planned to keep it that way.

He somehow managed to crawl through her defences and she swore it would never happen again.

But it did.

The Avengers were family. As much as a few of them would hate to admit, a very close family. It was people like Thor and Steve that drew them together and made them more revealing.

And there was nothing that revealed that more than when someone got hurt.

They always came away with a few bruises, a scratch here or there, maybe even a concussion. But when somebody got really hurt, all hell broke loose.

They all had their own ways of dealing with it, and while most just cover the wounded from more attack and try to get them to safety, Natasha talked to them.

She knows from experience that there's nothing worse than laying there, in pain, not knowing if you're gonna die and being alone.

So whenever someone gets seriously hurt, she pushes the panic aside and talks to them.

But the panic never disappears. It comes back later, when they're home resting. The debriefing's over, they're cleaned up, fed, doing their own things.

Then she panics, only then does she grasp that someone got hurt, badly. But she hides it, and head to the gym to fight punching bags or invisible opponents.

That's exactly what she's doing right now. She actually managed to break a punching bag, so she's now fighting invisible robots, like the one that shot down Tony earlier today.

He fell pretty far, the suit took most of the impact, but he landed in an odd way. In the end he broke his arm in two places, but at the time it was the portal all over again.

So here she is, punching the air, pretending it's a robot.

She's so absorbed it what she's doing she doesn't notice him enter. He stands at the end of the mat, just watching her.

"You know, if you keep knocking out 'robots' you might end up passing out."

She jumps a little in surprise, not enough for most to notice, but enough for him.

She turns to him, she's pouring sweat and breathing hard, she must be a mess. While he's standing there in shorts and a tank top, his hair in a ponytail, looking very much like a god.

She doesn't answer and sits on the mat, slowly catching her breath.

He approaches her, sitting down across from her. He looks at her with a curious look in his eyes.

She just shrugs, he knows why she's down here, he's always been able to see right through her. Sometimes even things that Barton misses. He knows her too well, which makes her uneasy. Considering how little she knows about him. She knows what the stories tell, but the real him? They know next to nothing.

They sit in silence before he speaks, "It reminded you of when he fell from the portal didn't it?"

She looks at him, his eyes are understanding, and she's sure he already knows the answer, but she tells him anyway. "Yes."

Thor nods, "Me too. I'm sure they all thought it as well."

Natasha has finally caught her breath and now she's itching to move again. But she is surprised when Thor stands up and moves to a spot on the mat a few feet away. "Well you need to let it out and I'm bored. So shall we?"

She raises an eyebrow in question to which he only smiles in return. She thinks, why not? She takes her place and they start.

And to her utter surprise, he has her pinned within seconds.

He just lets her up and takes her place.

And he pins her again. And again.

It seems she underestimated him. She smiles to herself and lets go, fighting with all she's got.

He holds his own and eventually they have to stop. Both out of breath and slightly bruised, they couldn't beat the other.

She is pleasantly surprised at this. He is a much better fighter than she thought he was.

They drink some water and wipe themselves down.

"Feeling better?" Thor smiles at her.

Natasha for once, smiles back, "Much, thank you."

Thor seems pleased, "The only thing that would make this better is ice cream."

"I couldn't agree more."

So they go get ice cream, at a little shop a couple blocks over.

And they do it again.

Soon they become regulars at the shop, making friends and having a usual order.

And they always go after they spar. It become a sort of tradition, a guilty pleasure that only the two of them share and no one else.

When asked where they go, they say they're going for a run and no one stops them and no one comes along, not wanting to interrupt whatever Thor is doing to make Natasha a little calmer.

And as they sit down to eat their ice cream, they laugh at the obliviousness of their teammates and the odd friendship they have created.

It's then that Natasha decides.

Maybe emotions aren't so bad after all.


	4. Clint

Shooting arrows was more than just his day job.

It was also his pastime. It calmed him down, made him feel better.

He feels naked without a bow.

So of course Clint was ecstatic when Tony made him his own archery range, without him even asking for it.

The others used it sometimes too. For training mostly, every once in a while someone would join him for some shooting.

Nobody could shoot like him, and everyone but Natasha still talked to him when he was shooting, which meant he had to keep his hearing aids on. He usually turned them off, him and Natasha using sign language, but so far as he knew, they were the only two who spoke it.

Clint liked to just keep shooting. He can do it for hours and never get bored.

So after three hours of shooting a target at increasingly difficult settings, Clint notices movement from the corner of his eye.

He stops shooting to turn towards the door, he spots Thor leaning in the doorway.

Clint raises a hand in greeting, hoping he doesn't have to turn his aids back on.

Thor walks in, the door closing behind him. He then does something that actually surprises Clint.

He signs to him, _"Mind if I join you?"_

Clint blinks in surprise, nodding.

Thor picks up a bow and knocks it, Clint goes back to his own target.

After about ten minutes Clint notices that Thor is at the same level he is, and isn't missing a shot. Getting a bullseye every time. This level is far beyond what anyone else can usually do, even Natasha.

Clint just stop and stars as Thor keeps going. After a few more minutes Thor notices him staring and stops, turning to Clint with a questioning face.

It take a moment for Clint to get his hands to work _"Since when were you such a good shot?"_

Thor shrugs _"I had a lot of free time as a kid. It was one of the few weapons I could practice on my own and actually improve with."_

Clint just blinks again _"Okay, but you sign?"_

Thor chuckles " _One of my mother's handmaidens was deaf. I wanted to learn how to speak to her, since she was always very nice to me, despite me not being able to talk to her. So mother taught me to sign."_

" _Oh. Cool."_ That's all Clint is able to get out. They go back to shooting, eventually going their separate ways.

* * *

The next morning Clint is telling everything to Natasha, all in sign language.

Tony whines "I really need to learn asl so I can eavesdrop on you guys."

They both glare at him as the others join them for breakfast.

They are all having their conversations, the others watching Clint and Natasha despite not knowing what they're saying. Clint turns to Thor and signs something. To the surprise of the others watching, Thor signs back. Whatever he said had Clint and Natasha chuckling. Suddenly he was a part of their conversation.

Natasha signs to them _"We are being watched. More than usual it seems."_

Thor signs back _"They're just surprised that the blonde god who gets confused by a cell phone knows sign language."_

Clint and Natasha smile at that and Clint signs back _"Well I'm glad you can."_

And he really is.


	5. Bruce

He hated the Hulk.

He knows that he can be helpful. That he's saved lives and protected people.

But he's also hurt people. Taken lives. Broken them.

And no one but him seems to remember that. They all think he's a hero.

He's terrified every time he Hulks out. Scared beyond belief that there will be more people he hurts than he saves.

But strangers are one thing. The team is another.

He is petrified to hurt them. That the Hulk will one day not recognize them as friends and turn on them.

He's not surprised that Clint and Natasha tip toe around him. Their caution is what's kept them alive. It wasn't until he saw that they acted the same way around Thor and Steve that he realized the caution was there for people they could see as a threat.

Steve is a soldier, he's cautious in his approach, but he was nothing but polite from the start. But Bruce can see the underlying fear under the politeness.

Tony acts as though the Hulk could never hurt him. He doesn't treat Bruce like he has a monster inside of him.

Despite that, Bruce worries. He knows that if he ever lost control, he could kill Tony easily. With or without the suit.

The only person he doesn't worry about is Thor.

Bruce expected him to act like Clint and Natasha when it came to him. Thor is a high class warrior. Trained longer and differently than the assassins. That coupled with his royalty, Bruce thought he would be the most cautious of them all.

But he wasn't.

He hailed the Hulk as a mighty warrior. He clapped Bruce on the back and told him that songs would be sung about him and the mighty beast that resides inside him.

His enthusiasm made Bruce smile and actually feel like the hero that the media hailed him as.

* * *

One thing he enjoyed doing was playing piano. He used to do it growing up but kinda stopped after the accident.

He never told anyone, he didn't think of it and he was out of practice anyway.

So he was very surprised when the room Tony made for him had a piano in it.

He would play it after every mission, it calmed him and gave him something to keep him mind off the visions.

It didn't take long for him to be back to the level he was playing at before.

Whenever he played, he was in a world his own, it never occurred to him that any of his teammates would be listening.

Until one day, he had just finished playing The Entertainer - one of his favourites - when he heard clapping from behind.

Startled, he turned around to find Thor standing in his doorway.

"Wonderful my friend! That sounded amazing!."

Unused to the praise, Bruce blushed and ducked his head. "Thanks. Um, how long have you been there?"

Thor takes a few steps into the room, "I come here after every battle. It is customary on my world to check in with your fellow warriors, to make sure they are alright. Also, I quite enjoy listening to you play. I've always wanted to learn, but my father never saw any use in it and wouldn't let me take lessons."

Bruce is shocked at the fact that Thor had been hearing him play for a while. "Uh, why did you never tell me you were there until now?"

Thor proceeds further into the room, "I didn't want to disturb you, you always seemed so at peace. Today though, I thoroughly enjoyed what you played and was hoping to ask you to teach it to me."

Bruce blinks, "Teach you?"

Thor smiles, "Yes, if you would."

Bruce realizes, that outside of his science moments with Tony, this is the first time a teammate has come to him for company.

He looks at Thor, he's at ease, dressed casually, no fear in his eyes or tension in his shoulders. He's not afraid.

Bruce smiles, "Sure, why not? The piece is called The Entertainer, it's one of my favourites."

Thor's eyes light up, "Fantastic! I can see why you like it so much, it is quite pleasing."

Bruce nods in agreement, and makes room for Thor on the bench. He starts to explain the mechanics of the piano and where the cords are, Thor listening with interest, asking questions and not once does his attention deviate.

And for once, Bruce doesn't mind the Hulk.


	6. Steve

Steve didn't like sleep.

When he was younger he hated it because it seemed like that was all he did.

A lot of the time he was too tired to get out of bed. Or after a normal day he would feel more tired than he thought he had the right to be.

After the serum he didn't have to sleep as much. He could go weeks at a time without sleeping. But eventually he would have to.

Back during the war, he was so exhausted from fighting, he would just pass out for a few hours.

But not anymore.

Even with their missions, and his workouts, it wasn't enough.

He started to dread having to sleep.

And it was all because of the stupid nightmares.

People think Captain America isn't afraid of anything. It's not true. He's afraid to go to sleep at night. Afraid to close his eyes and see his friends die.

See Bucky fall. Soldiers fall. Innocents killed.

And all of it his fault.

Every time it's something he did. Soldiers he led to their deaths. People he failed to save.

Someone might say he has a form of PTSD, and maybe he does, but that doesn't stop terror from ripping him from his sleep every night.

So he would put off sleeping as long as possible. Spend his nights drawing or down in the gym. Anything but sleeping. No one really noticed, and if anyone did, it didn't really matter. So long as he could do his job. He could deal with it on his own.

It's not like anyone would understand anyway.

* * *

Something he loved about Thor was that he was as lost in this world of technology as he was.

They had started some sort of ritual with each other. If at any point, one of them couldn't figure something out, they would figure it out together. It was easier then Tony rolling his eyes at one of them.

They had fun. And maybe broke a couple things, but it was all in good spirits. And they always felt great when they managed to figure it out on their own.

Thor and him had spent the evening fiddling with some handheld game console. They had some laughs and managed not to break this one. But it was getting late, so Thor bid him a goodnight and left.

After a while Steve got bored, not really feeling up to a work out. He grabs his sketch book and heads to the roof. Hoping to find some inspiration.

He must've sat there for a couple hours, just staring at the skyline. Lost in his own thoughts.

He's startled out of them when someone sits next to him.

He looks over in surprise, only to find Thor sitting next to him.

He's wearing pyjama pants and a loose t-shirt. His hair is in a loose bun, but despite it all he still manages to look perfect. Something everyone has noticed and even argued about before. Tony saying it wasn't fair that he could do that.

Steve smirks at the memory but it quickly disappears as he goes back to watching the sky.

The silence is comfortable but Steve's curiosity gets the better of him.

"What are you doing up? I thought you were going to bed?"

Thor shrugs, "Couldn't sleep. I heard you leave your room. After you didn't return for a while I thought I'd come and check on you."

Steve turns his attention back to New York. Not really knowing how to continue.

It's Thor that breaks the silence this time. "Can I ask you a question, my friend?"

Steve looks at him, "Of course."

Thor looks him in the eyes and Steve is blown away by the sheer amount of concern in them.

"Why are you afraid to sleep?"

Steve is shocked. He didn't know what Thor was gonna ask him, but he never once thought it would be that.

"What?"

Thor looks over the city, "I know you must be wondering how I could possibly know. And I will tell you. But you must answer my question first." His gaze returns to Steve.

Steve takes a deep breath. Trying to figure out what to say. He opens his mouth to say something along the lines of 'I don't like to sleep cause of how long I was in the ice, blah blah blah'. But what really comes out is, well everything.

He tells him of how he was before the serum. Always sick. Then after. Always fighting. And how every time he sleeps he sees things that he wishes he could forget.

He talks and talks and talks until he has nothing else to say. Throughout it all Thor listens to every word. He doesn't once interrupt, and for that, Steve couldn't be more grateful.

When he's finally finished he turns back to Thor. "So how did you know?"

Thor looks at him with understanding, a small smile on his face.

"You know, when I was younger I wanted nothing more than to join my Father in battle. Lead our warriors to victory like he did. Live up to my family's legacy of great warriors. I trained hard, every day. Never giving up. And finally, the day came I could join the battle. And I did, and it was glorious. I loved every second."

Steve nods, not sure where he's going with this story, but sure that he will get the answer he wants.

"I fought beside Asgard's warriors for years. I might have been their Prince, but on the battlefield, I was their equal. Then one day, my Father gave me the task of drawing up the battle plans. Of leading our warriors, instead of being led with them."

Thor's smile is sad, like he's remembering something with regret.

"So I went to meet the warriors I would be commanding. There was this boy, barely out of training. We usually wouldn't bring them in so young, but we were desperate at the time. His name was Jol, and he was kind, but so scared. I told him that he didn't need to be. He would be just fine. He told me he trusted me."

Steve listens quietly, his mind racing. He thinks he knows where this is going, but he really hopes he's wrong.

"The day of the battle came. My Father and his warriors were the first wave. We were the second. We were hiding in some trees, waiting for our signal. I'm walking around, making sure my warriors are ready, when I spot Jol. He's shaking. Like he's terrified. I try to reassure him, but there was only so much I could do. He told me again that he trusts me but he wanted me to do him a favour, just in case. I agree without hesitation. So he tells me how he's the last of his family. It was just him and his mother for as long as he could remember. She had died recently, so it was just him now. Then he hands me this coin."

He holds up coin for Steve to see. It's old and battered, covered in scratches and gouges. It's has some design on it, hard to make out with all the damage, but it was obviously well loved.

"He told me that his father gave it to his mother before he left for the battle that would be his last. She was pregnant with him at the time and his father was afraid he wouldn't be back in time for the birth. So he gave her the coin to remember him by. When he didn't come back, it was the only thing that kept her going. So when Jol started his training, she gave him the coin. To remember his father by. He wanted me to have it. To remember him. Just in case he died. In case he didn't make it. He wanted someone to remember him. The way his mother remembered his father. I was touched by this and of course I told him he would be fine. But he wasn't."

Steve's heart stopped.

"I had chosen the spot we were hiding in, what I didn't know, is that the enemy knew of it too. We never joined my father in battle. We were ambushed. Almost everyone killed. Of my company of 200, only 14 remained. Everyone said it wasn't my fault. No one could of predicted that. Even if I wasn't in charge that battle, it still would've happened. But it wouldn't have."

"Thor-"

"No, it's true." Thor looks at him, cutting him off, "I convinced my father to attack in waves. His original plan was to send everybody in at once, but I said waves would have been better. Once they think they are thinning our ranks, we attack with more. So he changed his plan. If I had never convinced him to do that, we wouldn't have been ambushed. Sure, that doesn't mean all the soldiers would still be alive, but at least more than 14 would have been."

Steve doesn't have a reply to that. He can see where Thor is coming from. Especially after being there himself.

"Afterwards I was walking through the bodies, looking for any survivors, when I found Jol. He was still alive, but barely. And I wouldn't be able to save him, I knew that, but it didn't make it any easier. I knelt down next to him and he opened his eyes. He looked at me and said the last thing I expected. 'It's not your fault.' Even after that I spent weeks blaming myself, wanting nothing more to do with battles or war. But then I looked at this coin, I remembered what he said, and I realized something. No matter how hard I try, people are always going to die. It was a morbid thought, but it helped. Because what happened, happened. Nothing can change that. I can spend the rest of my life asking, how could I have done better? How could I have saved them? What should I have done differently? I can come up with a thousand alternative paths, but the truth is, it won't change it. It won't bring them back. And blaming myself with do nothing for them. It'll only end up hurting me and the people who care about me."

Thor turns to him and holds out the coin. Steve takes it, holding it gingerly.

"Keep it."

Steve looks at Thor with surprise.

"I want you to do what I did with it. I want you to find comfort in it. I want you to look at it and remember, that no matter what happened, it wasn't your fault. There is nothing you can do to change it. All you can do, is take the memory of the people you lost, and use that to fight harder. To fight smarter. I want you to see that coin and remember that you have someone who understands. Who knows what it's like to be in your shoes. For you to know that you are never alone."

Before Steve can even think of a reply, Thor gets up and heads back inside. Leaving a very stunned Steve behind.

Steve sits on the roof, staring at the coin in his hand until sunrise. It's only then that he heads back inside.

He sits on the edge of his bed, thinking over the story Thor told him. Thinking about the significance of this coin.

Soon he starts to feel his eyes droop, but instead of feeling afraid. He feels, content. Understood.

He lays down, clutching the coin in one hand, finally letting go of pieces of his past.

He is finally falling asleep when he realizes, he might not mind sleeping anymore.


	7. Tony (Part 2)

Tony has lost a lot of people in his life.

He's lost his parents. People he called friends, called family.

But this was somehow worse.

With his parents, at least he was young enough to not remember much. It hurt, but not as bad as it could.

With Obadiah, at least he can be angry. Hate him for betraying him. And focus on that.

This was way different.

Everywhere he looked, he saw him. Saw the notebook he filled up with his amazing handwriting. Saw the ink and feather pen he preferred to write with. The half drank coffee they had forgotten about. He was everywhere.

And it hurt.

So he buried himself in his work, tried to convince himself that the liquid he was wiping from his face was sweat.

But he could only last so long.

Eventually he broke. He dropped the tool he was working with and cried. Huge ugly sobs that he couldn't control, and didn't really want to.

He doesn't know how long he spent crying but eventually he pulled himself together enough to get up and splash some water on his face.

On his was back to his workbench his eyes once again landed on Thor's notebook. It was a plain notebook, probably bought at some dollar store. But it was covered in ancient runes, probably claiming it as his.

A sad smile makes it's way to Tony's face and he opens the book, staring at the handwriting inside. He sighs, closing the book and hugging it to his chest.

As he goes to put it down, a folded piece of paper falls out of it.

Curious, he picks it up. On the outside, in the handwriting he loves, is his name.

He unfolds the paper slowly, not sure what to expect inside.

 _Tony Stark,_

 _Greetings my friend, I hope you are well today. Have you eaten anything? You should, it's good to keep your strength up. But that is not my reason for writing this. No, I fear there is a darker reason for that. I have a feeling something bad is going to happen to me. What it could be, I know not, but I cannot seem to shake this feeling. In Asgard, there is more trust put into these feelings than there is here, and though I'm not certain anything will happen, I'd rather take precautions. And if you are reading this, then something did happen. I pray you are alright, and no matter what happened to me, just promise me one thing. Take care of yourself. Do not let yourself fall apart beyond repair. Do that for me? Please?_

 _Your friend,_

 _Thor_

Once again Tony's vision is blurred by tears. He can't believe it, Thor knew something might happen and instead of doing something about it, he went out of his way to make sure he was alright.

He sets the letter down gently and heads out of his lab and to the kitchen. He doesn't want to eat, but he knows he needs to. He makes himself a sandwich and heads back down to his lab.

He sits down at his bench and picks up his sandwich. Before taking a bit he looks at the empty chair across from him.

"I promise Thor."


	8. Natasha (Part 2)

She was good at hiding her emotions.

It was something she was proud of.

She was able to hide them from the team, from everyone she passed by during her walk.

But for some reason, the moment she stepped into the ice cream shop, she broke down.

Sandy, the nice girl who ran the place and knew them and their orders very well, was there in an instant. As were the other workers and the regulars they had become friends with.

Sandy was hugging her as she cried, telling her how they all saw it on the news, how they were hoping it was wrong. Telling her it'll be alright.

She knew it wouldn't be, but she was grateful nonetheless.

After a few minutes her tears stopped, she couldn't even bring herself to feel embarrassed, especially when there was not a dry eye in the place.

So Natasha sits in her usual seat, the regular customers they would chat with started coming over, joining her at the table. Bringing over their own chairs. No one sat in his. It wouldn't be right.

Sandy brought her usual and sat down beside her. They all ate in silence, occasionally sending sad glances to Thor's spot.

It's only after she's picked her way through half her bowl of ice cream that someone speaks.

As she's pulling something out of her pocket, Sandy talks to her, "This is for you."

Natasha looks down and sees she's being passed an envelope. She takes it and gives Sandy a questioning look.

She sighs, "It's from Thor."

Natasha's eyebrows shoot up and a few of the heads around them turn.

"One day, when you were in the bathroom he came up to me. He gave me this, telling me to give it to you. I asked him when and he just smiled in a sad way and told me I'd know exactly when."

Natasha takes in the information. So he knew something was going to happen. Of course he did. But she can't bring herself to be angry about it.

She carefully opens the envelope and takes out the letter. She smirks when she sees it's written in Russian.

 _Natasha Romanoff_

 _I knew you'd come here. It's the only place you wouldn't be afraid to show that you're hurt. I'm sure you've figured out from what Sandy said, that I knew something was coming. It's true. I've had this sense of foreboding for weeks. I'm afraid it's something more than just the injury I'm hoping it'll be. I'm so sorry for this, but there is nothing you can do to change it. So please, do something for me. Sit with our friends. Speak with them, eat with them, and don't grieve me. Celebrate me. Tell them stories of our battles. Of the way we met. The way we became a family. Do this, not only for me, but for yourself._

 _Your friend,_

 _Thor_

Natasha can feel the tears on her face, but at the same time she's smiling. It's so like him, to think of others when he should be thinking of himself.

She folds the letter carefully and places it on the table, she looks up at the curious faces around her and leans forward on the table.

"Have I ever told you guys how Thor and I met?"


	9. Clint (Part 2)

He hasn't left the archery range in what feels like forever.

Expect for the occasional bathroom break or snack break, he hasn't.

Not since-

He's just been shooting. Shooting until his arms go numb. Until he can't hold his bow properly. Until he admits that he can't see the target anymore through the tears in his eyes.

But he doesn't stop. He can't. If he stops, he starts to think. And when he starts to think, he thinks about-

So he knocks another arrow. Shoots another target. Doesn't think.

Not until he resets the program.

He goes to shoot again when he notices something attached to the target.

He brings it towards him and is surprised when he finds an envelope tacked to the board.

It has his name on it. In impossibly neat handwriting he would know anywhere.

He pulls the envelope off the board and opens it. Only to find a thumb drive in it.

He is confused, but curious.

He packs up his equipment and heads to his room, sets up his laptop and plugs the drive in.

There's one file on it. Named 'Watch me'

So he does.

He watches as Thor balances what he suspects is a Starkpad on something so it is standing up. As he makes sure it's recording. As he smiles a sad smile at the camera. And he smiles as Thor starts to sign to him.

 _"Hello my friend!_

 _I'm sure you are wondering why I am doing this. Truth is, I am doing something for each of you. A way to help you I guess, for I fear something will come to pass, that is not going to end in my favour. I could've written you a letter like the others, but I felt I needed something else for you. I felt I needed to speak to you in your language for this. Maybe it'll bring you some comfort, maybe not. I'm not sure. But I know you will find this and my hope is that you will heed my words. Rest. I know you do not want to stop shooting arrows into whomever you are picturing but you need to take care of yourself. Wearing yourself out is not going to help anyone, lest of all yourself. So please, just rest. And do me one more favour, teach the others to sign. It's time they learn to adapt to you instead of the other way around. Thank you, my friend."_

As the screen goes dark Clint can't seem to do anything but stare. His mind is racing, his tears are flowing. Thor went out of his way to not only record a video for him, but he no doubt had to learn how to first.

He's right though, the last thing on his mind is rest. But even as he is resisting the idea, his eyes are drooping and his bed is calling for him.

So he does what he doesn't want to do, and climbs into bed. Because as much as he doesn't want to think about what happened or what is gone, he needs to rest. It's the least he can do.

The least he can do for family.


End file.
